for WizardWatch (or Whatever This Site Is Called)
The following gives a simple overview of what personal information we collect, why we collect it, and what we do with it. Spoiler: we're going to use it to saw it in half and then pretend it was never there.
A shadowy cabal of mentalists who may or may not exist. If you'd like to contact the responsible party, focus your thoughts on the number seven. They'll know.
Some data is provided by you directly — for example, when you fill out our contact form or accidentally think too loudly near our servers. Other data is harvested automatically the moment you arrive, before you even click anything, using proprietary Ambient Suspicion Technology™.
Mostly to guess your card. We haven't been wrong yet.
Technically several. Practically, none that would hold up at a magic club meeting.
We take your personal data extremely seriously, which is why we keep it in a sealed envelope that has been in full view of the audience the entire time.
The responsible party is whoever drew the Queen of Spades. You know who you are.
You may revoke your consent at any time by mailing us a signed letter, burning it, and correctly guessing which hand the ashes are in.
You have the right to file a complaint with the competent regulatory authorities. We have the right to tell you it's not the card you're thinking of, even if it is.
All payment transactions are secured using SSL encryption, a binding pledge under the Magicians' Code, and one professional-grade misdirection maneuver executed at the moment of checkout.
Our cookies do not harm your computer. They do, however, know your mother's maiden name and your childhood pet. They didn't learn this from you. They just know.
Most cookies vanish after your visit. Others are merely perceived to vanish, while actually palmed for later.
Our servers automatically collect the following:
This website uses Matomo to analyze user behavior. Matomo uses cookies that watch where you click, where you linger, and whether you hesitated on the "About Us" page because deep down you already know the truth about the Ambitious Card.
Your anonymized data may be used to improve the site, win a bar bet, or prove a point at a Ring meeting. It will not be sold to third parties unless those third parties correctly guess the total.
To opt out, simply select a card — any card — and if it's the three of clubs, you're opted out. If it isn't, try again. There's no limit to attempts but there is a growing sense of unease.